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Sam Spank

Production company: Spankaholics
Directed by Jason Mullard
Starring Rosie Thorn, Violet Rivers, & Pitt Forbes
Date of Production: 2005
Duration: 42 minutes
Guest Review by Alex Gardner (7/27/07)

This is a distinctive film by virtue of its setting: the United States in the 1940s. The director has sought to create a pastiche or parody (albeit in colour) of so-called film noir. Its title character (played by Pitt Forbes) is an ex-Chicago cop turned private eye of the Raymond Chandler variety. I had previously seen this actor in the role of the schoolmaster in Roue's "Spare the Rod". He seems more at ease here, hiding behind the stereotypical 'gumshoe' persona (and under a large brown fedora). I do wonder slightly at the wisdom of an English cast taking on material so very American. To be fair, all three actors make a good stab at the accent (to my English ears at any rate), but the need to speak in American fashion seems at times to inhibit them from speaking at all. The dialogue never really flows very freely and there are longish stretches without any.

At the start, a voice-over sets up an elaborate plot concerning one Tululah Kohler, heiress to media magnate Sebatian Kohler. Her father has disappeared, perhaps murdered. She cannot immediately inherit his fortune, because a clause his will requires her to marry and have a child first. This presents a particular difficulty for Tululah, as she is a lesbian, currently attached to a petty criminal named Gracie (whom Sam suspects of having had a hand in the killing of Kohler). It quickly transpires that none of this matters a jot. The only meaningful plot of the film is a variation on an old standard. Tululah wants to employ Sam to investigate the disappearance of her father. She cannot afford to pay him with money, so instead she allows him to spank her and Gracie and (as a preliminary) to watch them engaging in lesbian frolics. Tululah and Gracie fondle each other in various intimate ways, putting Sam's revolver to phallic uses. There is actually a certain tenderness in this scene, as the two actresses relate to each other very convincingly.

The CP begins twelve minutes into the film. Gracie has Tululah over her knee for a light spanking, interspersed with fondling, stroking, and kissing of her buttocks. The positions are then reversed. Next Sam applies his right hand to their tempting rumps. Tululah (in black suspender-belt and knickers) seems to like having her bottom slapped. 'My dame hits harder than you!' she taunts. With Gracie (in white-suspender belt and knickers), the CP later gets a little more genuinely punitive (when Sam takes up the paddle and the cane), yet the prevailing tone throughout is more openly erotic and less purely disciplinary than is the case in many British spanking films. I don't think any regular viewer of spanking videos would call the punishments here severe. The paddlings that the girls give each other are light. Overall, though, I rate the level of CP as moderate (and quite robust enough to satisfy my own desires). Gracie's creamy bottom reddens beautifully under the strap and acquires a set of cane-stripes. Sam paddles the girls, as they bend over side by side, and confesses to being an unreformable 'spankaholic'. The action continues without any further pretence of narrative: Tululah straps Gracie, Gracie straps Tululah, Sam canes Gracie (12 strokes), Sam canes Tululah (6 strokes), Tululah starts caning Gracie - and there the film ends, rather abruptly.

"Sam Spank" is clearly not going to win any prizes for story-telling. It does excel, however, in its visual aspect, earning top marks from me for its period costumes and scenery. There is just the one set - a living room - but the furniture and decor appear highly authentic. The women also have the right look: dresses, stockings, shoes, make-up, and hair-styles are all in 1940s fashions, as are their little black hats with half-face veils. True, their knickers are a good deal skimpier than any to be seen in the old days, I imagine, but I'm not complaining about that!

The filming is well done, with plenty of enjoyable close-ups of the girls' lovely buttocks - and also of their lovely faces. To my mind, the two actresses - both brunettes - are very attractive indeed. Rosie Thorn (Tululah) has a notably pretty face, refined and expressive; she reminds me slightly of the young Elizabeth Hurley. Violet Rivers (Gracie) has full lips, an excellent complexion, and - best of all - a superbly rounded bottom. Forget the phoney accents and superfluous plot details. Forget Sam Spank himself. This is essentially an opportunity to observe two sexy young ladies, with a taste for retro chic, engaging in erotic CP. They may not say much, but their performances nevertheless convey sensuality, intelligence, and apparently genuine enjoyment. I had never set eyes on Rosie or Violet before, but I found them a real pleasure to watch. These two delightful CP actresses ensure that "Sam Spank" stays in the mind as a film of character and charm.

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