As RHV 19 opens, it's late - 11ish or so - and glamour model Julie Simone scuffs into the room, sleepy-eyed and disheveled. She's wearing either sleepwear or clubwear. It might be both. "Do you have my wine?" she says abruptly, as a sort of greeting, I suppose. A man, who we happen to know fondly as the "Mystery Spanker", smoothly handles the situation. "Sure do," he says, and he pours a brimful of maison rouge into a plastic motel cup.

A nerve-wracking couple of minutes follow, sort of like a horror flick. You and I know exactly what's going to happen, but the ill-fated dupe - Julie Simone, in case you were wondering - does not. She downs several cups of the red wine, chats on her cell phone, flicks cigarette ashes on the carpet, and generally behaves like a sitting duck. She's here to model, the Mystery Spanker reminds her a couple of times, to pretty much no effect. She snaps her fingers for quicker service instead. This ain't gonna be pretty, I think gleefully.

It ain't. Or it is, depending on if you're looking at it from Julie's point of view or ours. She's hauled over the Mystery Spanker's lap, face down, thonged-butt up. The wrinkled navy slip slides into the small of her back, the black sweater gets bunched up around her neck, and her shoes fly around her ankles. (I warned you that the outfit was unusual.) The spanking proceeds, and Julie's ass gets reddish purple pretty quick.

Okay, now the shoes. Let's me clarify. They're ankle-strappy things that are weirdly erotic while they're flying around during her spanking. I'm not into shoes - in the sexual sense - but for those of us who are, this is a scene that you'll be thinking about for years to come. There's something very lewd and indecent about having your shoes twist around your bare ankles while someone is spanking your bare butt.

In addition to her shoes twisting obscenely, Julie does too, crawling all over his lap in an effort to...um...I'm not sure. "Wherever you take that ass," he claims, "I'm going to find it and I'm going to swat it." Tee-hee. He's a funny guy, isn't he? He's not kidding though. Her ass is purple and splotchy by the end.

Jill Cannon - Valley Girl Extraordinaire

I hope Jill Cannon lands a top spot on a soap opera some day, because this kid can act. At least I hope she can. No one could hit "bimbo" and "needs her butt spanked" with such precision while actually being a bimbo.

For starters: her boobs. They're bigger than her head. Not big in the Las Vegas showgirl sense, but more in the "cheerleader stuffed into a too-small tankini" sense. Wholesome yet stacked is what I'm getting at.

Another thing: her attitude. She's a head-turner and she knows it. She struts around in outfit after outfit, purportedly modeling; in reality, looking cute. When the Mystery Spanker suggests that she change back into a sort of purple camisole thing, it's not too hard for us to figure out why: he's looking for the perfect thing to spank her in.

When she finally gets over his lap, she makes some half-hearted protests and we can see her stifling a few giggles and smiles. It's a set up! She knew!

Ha. Doesn't matter if it is a set up. The spanking is real, as Jill finds out. It proceeds with gusto, he takes down the panties, we see tattoos we wish we hadn't, her long blond hair starts flying out of its hairdo, and she utters, more than once, a Valley-girlish "whateverrrrr".

When he removes her purple camisole in the middle of her butt whacking, her boobs pop out nicely, and he pinches her tit. Back over his lap for some heavy duty spanking. He plays the Eeny Meeny Game on her butt cheeks - one of my favorite games, by the way: "Eeny Meeny Miney Moe, which one is going to be next?" SWAT!

She starts to break down a bit, almost crying, breathing hard, and the Mystery Spanker stops. Huh?! Not to worry. "Get your ass in the corner!" he yells. Yikes! She makes a beeline for the corner and we're able to spend a few minutes watching rub her red ass while the Mystery Spanker downs a beer. "You're not going to spank me anymore, are you?" she asks finally in a pathetic, well-spanked voice. "Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't?" he grumbles in reply. She thinks. Hard. We see her thinking. That's the sign of a girl who doesn't do it that often, by the way. This is what she concludes: she puts her finger in her mouth and sucks it.

Who would have thought that a red-assed bimbo sucking her finger would be a total turn-on? Not me. But it is. She spends a nice long time perched on his lap - sitting upright this time - sucking her finger and fingering her own cheerleader tits, hinting that more is to come. The Mystery Spanker is an ironic type of guy, and while massaging her crimson ass, he makes some amusing remarks that apparently fly straight over Jill's head.

He's a gentleman, too, and declines to take sexual advantage of a girl whose biggest asset is her finger-sucking ability. Instead, he pops her back over his lap for more bare butt spanking.

Sybil - Smart, fashionable, and into spanking

Frizzy haired, bleached blond, gun moll, snapping gum, tough looking tattoo on her boob.

Get the picture? That's Sybil. Not exactly my type.

At least I thought that was Sybil.

One of the reasons I like Red Hot Video is that the scenes are erotic and...well, frankly, I like to imagine getting spanked like those girls. I couldn't see myself as Sybil though.

Then she started talking. And modeling. "And this is what I call my James Bond girl dress," she says, describing her outfit so nicely that I almost stop the video to run out to find that cute dress she has on. Her little black thong (Oh no! I don't have one of those and she said I should!) and her seamed black hose look gorgeous on her, I decide.

The Mystery Spanker, sort of a guy's guy, doesn't seem to appreciate fashion the way he should, and Sybil makes an irritated call to her agent. "The most deplorable conditions I have ever worked under" she says in a huffy voice, and I'm afraid I have to agree. Sybil belongs on The Style Channel, not Spanking Central.

She tries again; perhaps the Mystery Spanker will appreciate this outfit, Sybil and I think. A very lovely burgundy crushed velvet bra and thong. I love it, and Sybil looks absolutely -. Ouch! The Mystery Spanker manhandles her over his lap! Sybil and I are outraged! I'll get your agent on the phone, Syb!

Except.... If only Sybil didn't look so damn sexy getting spanked in those thigh-high black stockings and beautiful shoes. Hold still so I can take a good look at those shoes, Syb. Where'd you get them?

She can't hold still though, and she squeals, and moans, and hisses, and wiggles, sticking her butt high in the air. Her bra and thong come off, and it's hard not to see that not only does she look great in clothes, her figure is to die for. This is one hot woman.

The Mystery Spanker, not dense about everything, senses that Sybil is a hot chick. He spends half the time spanking, and half the time kneading and stroking her ass, thighs, and other body parts. To say that this is a turn on for a woman like me - into spanking that is - is an understatement. I've dreamed about this little scene once or twice after watching it for the 40th time. Sybil gets glassy-eyed, and so do I. It's times like this when I wish the Mystery Spanker wasn't such a gentleman.